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Happy Spring and April too!  


Wherever you are in the world, this time of year in the States is usually when we celebrate rebirth and new growth and it’s time to be outside more.  


For Floridians this is the perfect time to be outdoors before summer humidity sets in (I am now in my second year in Florida and love living close to a beautiful beach!). Yes, that’s Michael and me at our favorite beach feeling love, gratitude and extreme happiness.


This brings me to the topic this month…I am breaking from my normal topics on business and relationships, yet this topic applies to all areas of our lives. 


How do we create these well-being emotions and hold on to them no matter what circumstances show up?


We may know and experience well-being feelings when things are going GREAT.
Our lives are often more complicated however, and life is not GREAT all the time (at least we do not perceive it to be).


Here is a great place to start when we want to prime our mind for success:


Be aware of your self-talk.  With over 50,000 random thoughts per day, the average person could not possibly monitor them without going bonkers, right?  Almost 80% of those thoughts are repetitive and about the same percentage are just negative self-talk. Thoughts like, “I can't believe I am so stupid", "What was I thinking?", "I am not smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough…"  You fill in your own blanks.


These are often beliefs held in our subconscious mind where 90% of our true beliefs about ourselves and the world reside.  The way to uncover them is to be self-aware and pay attention.  We often drift through our lives in somewhat of a sleepwalking state and often on autopilot.  Think of a time you got in your car to go to a familiar place, like the grocery store or post office.  When you got there you realized you were deep in thought and had not been paying attention to your driving.  This is very much the same process.  We are going through the motions but are not fully aware. 


The point is, in order to change anything and to prime your brain for a better life you have to know what you are thinking first.  Simply, pay attention to your predominant thoughts.


Here’s a hint: If there are areas in your life you are not thrilled with there is very likely negative self-talk going on.   Pick only one area first...perhaps the one that is the most frustrating and challenging for you.   Pay attention to your thoughts around that area for one week.  Have a notebook/journal handy to jot down some of those predominant thoughts.  At the end of the week you will have a very good idea of what you tell youself.


A Client Story
Dana is a successful attorney who came to me because although she had career success she had been married and divorced two times.  She said she wanted to have a great relationship and was ready, yet all her dating experiences were turning out to be disappointing.  She agreed to take the one-week test and pay attention to what she was telling herself.  On the surface she said, “I tell myself I am ready and that I am a good women who deserves a good partner.”  


A week later she shared that she was rather surprised by what she discovered.  Consciously she did say “I deserve a good partner” but subconsciously she also told herself “all the good men are taken” and “something must be wrong with me or I wouldn't be dating losers”.  It was clear why she was getting lackluster results in her dating efforts.  She made a decision to do things differently and our coaching focused on growing her self-talk awareness, her self-confidence and self-love which all had been suffering.


As she grew in her awareness, her self-talk improved and she made some shifts on how she was dating and her criteria became much tighter.  She no longer tolerated “losers.”  When we spoke last she had found a great guy who she is taking her time getting to know yet feels she is finally on the right track.


Stay Tuned…in the next article we will discuss a powerful, easy and FUN tool to take you to your next step…


You CAN prime your brain for a better life!





P.S.  If you would like more support stifling those internal dialogs that leave you feeling low about yourself, give us a call.  In between our speaking and coaching engagements, we carve out a few individualized sessions each month. Schedule your appointment here.


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