BLOG: THE GENIUS OF COURAGEOUS LOVING
There is a genius to courageous loving because we have to access something we’ve forgotten and make it a real part of our lives again. It exists in each and every one of us yet it takes courage to access it. We can only access it when we become aware and we are ready for it.
I believe, we are all born geniuses and then programmed for mediocrity.
Mediocrity can be far worse that failure because it “dumbs us down” and we settled for relationships that are not fulfilling, jobs that deplete our energy and we don’t love or other situations that do not support us to live in our genius.
Yet, we all have heard stories of highly successful people who failed numerous times before true success came to them. The failure does not stop them. Their stories inspire us to go for our dreams.
How many inspirational stories do you hear of people leading ho-hum lives?
Let me explain my genius theory as I can almost anticipate some readers saying, “I am certainty not a genius, never was.” We’re not talking about IQ, which is the traditional way of looking at genius. but at the way a person interacts fully in their environment by utilizing all their abilities and awareness. Harvard psychologist, Howard Gardner coined the term multiple intelligences and we also sometimes talk about emotional intelligence.
As babies, most of us interacted fully with our environment knowing what we liked and disliked (including certain people).
We knew when we were cold, hungry, tired, wet or wanted attention. Our point of reference until we are about 2 years old is coming from ourselves and in that sense we were operating in our genius. At some point, and most certainly when we are exposed to the school system this changes rapidly. We begin to look outside of ourselves for validation and approval.
Over time the inner voice of self-judgment begins to tell us that we are not good enough or “I can’t do that” or “what will others think of me if I say/do that” and a host of other self-limiting thoughts and beliefs.
Judgment is a learned process that happens when other people’s opinions become greater than our own opinions.
When we begin looking outside of ourselves for the answers on how to live we loose our genius.
This becomes especially detrimental in our intimate relationships and in many instances this creates the power and control issues a majority of couples experience. First we believe (subconsciously because that is where our true beliefs about the world and ourselves still reside) someone can save us from our feeling of not being enough or any of our insecurities, expecting our partner to help us live a happy life and of course they can’t. They are looking at us in the same way as well.
Until we begin to access our genius again and love courageously relationships can be a source of frustration and struggle.
Stay tuned: Next week we discuss 2 proven strategies to begin accessing our genius again….
P.S. If you would like more support in applying these principles, give us a call. In between our speaking and coaching engagements, we carve out a few individualized sessions each month. Schedule your appointment here.
To Your Genius!