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This week’s question comes from Marcy who asks:


"I am an entrepreneur and have a small social media business, love what I do and feel I am good at it. I have done a lot of personal growth work and looked at and resolved many of my issues that have held me back in the past. I still deal with confidence issues at times and this is impacting my business, especially asking for sales and speaking confidently about what I do. I struggle with feeling pushy when I get objections about why someone can’t work with me and would rather not convince them. What can I do to move past this so I can grow my business and have greater success?"


Thanks for the great question, Marcy!


Many people also are challenged with sales and lack self confidence speaking about what they do. This may come as a surprise, yet all of us are in sales. Think about talking to friends and recommending a favorite restaurant or movie. We all do this and think nothing of it. We sell our ideas all the time. However, there is a difference between promoting a product or service of someone else’s and promoting yourself and your services. Most people at first are challenged with selling themselves yet this is what you must do to be successful. People must Know, Like and Trust you to do business with you. They must also understand how what you offer can help them. They are only focused really on “what’s in it for them” and you must be prepared to help them understand this and then help them make a decision to work with you. If you do not help potential clients by exploring their objections you are actually doing them a disservice and not serving them. This is true whether they choose to work with you or not. One of the first things I recommend is that you work to get beyond the idea that selling is being pushy and instead look at selling as serving. You love what you do and say you are good at it. If your work truly benefits others, you must begin to incorporate this into your current belief system. The first thing you can do is start re-programming this conscious belief that you are pushy. Instead come up with something that helps you believe that you are serving. Think of a client you have really helped and picture that person and how they benefited before having your next sales conversation. You can also come up with an affirmation about being in service or a quote that inspires you. Here is one, “It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed” ~ Napoleon Hill


Secondly, even though you have done personal growth work you are most likely dealing with a subconscious limited belief that ifs affecting your self confidence. It is a blind spot, in other words you cannot see it clearly. Until you uncover it and re-program it you will self-sabotage and not get the results you say you want. (Growing your business) None of us can out-perform our self image which is found in our SCM. This belief was formed in you at a very young age, usually before seven years old. Even though you know consciously that you lack some confidence there is another layer underneath that-a stronger belief that you are not currently aware of. There are basically four main subconscious beliefs and most people have at least one.


  • Fear of failure or fear of success

  • Fear of being abandoned or losing yourself

  • Not feeling worthy


The good news here is that you are not alone. Everyone has some subconscious limiting beliefs that have held them back. Many people have successfully uncovered their beliefs and re-programmed them. There are a number of tools and strategies that are helpful. I recommend that you work with someone who is trained in this area. Here are the top two that I have used with clients and found most helpful.


  • Frequent guided meditations. When your mind is in a deep state of relaxation and receptivity (Theta state), you can uncover and reprogram your SC mind. This takes repetition and determination yet is very successful.

  • Being in a structure of support…you can’t do it alone yet must do it yourself. You are aware of how your lack of confidence is holding you back so that is a great start. Most people fail to surround themselves with a support system when making changes and then go back into their old environment. It is crucial to sustain your results. I suggest that you join a Mastermind group with others who are committed to growing their business and to personal growth. You can also work with a trained professional such as a certified coach.


To  Greater  Sales  Confidence !

P.S.  If you would like more support in applying these principles, give us a call.  In between our speaking and coaching engagements, we carve out a few individualized sessions each month. Schedule your appointment here.




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