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“The world we experience is not created by people or situations.  It is created by our thoughts.  The most powerful place to start changing in the world is in your mind”  ~Alan Cohen


There are some people who love to market, network and be around others all the time. Those mostly extroverted types seem to breeze through situations with ease and confidence and people are just naturally drawn to them.


Most of us, however are somewhere in between. Marketing can be challenging at times. It requires a new mindset and a realization about what is activated in us. The old adage, “know thyself” is appropriate. We also must market our business to stay in business and be successful, right?


Instead of trying to avoid marketing and setting up a no-win situation how about just figuring out what it is that challenges us, and then making peace with our fear.


Here is an exercise to help you look more honestly at this. Often we don’t get specific about the challenge of marketing, saying,” We just don’t like to do it”. Then we just repeat the same results over and over hoping for something to change…this is the definition of insanity!  Once we clearly focus on what makes us uncomfortable we can address it and work through it or choose to think differently about it.


Highlight all that apply to you. Make additions to the list so it is applicable for you.

  • I don’t want to be seen as a pushy salesperson

  • If I talk about how good I am at what I do I’ll seem egotistical

  • I want to be liked

  • I don’t like to talk about money

  • I don’t know how to price my services

  • When people say they can’t afford it I freeze and the conversation is over

  • When people say they can’t afford it I offer a discount right away and regret it later

  • I don’t want to be intrusive

  • I don’t like it when people ask me to buy from them

  • I get overwhelmed easily

  • I’m good at convincing people I can help them. When they sign up they don’t follow through. What if I can’t deliver?

  • I’m not good at talking about what I do

  • I feel like an imposter

  • I don’t feel like I’m being genuine when I’m marketing

  • When someone asks me about what I offer and how I can help them I go blank

  • When I give my “elevator speech” at a networking event I feel uncomfortable

  • People may say no and I’ll feel rejected

  • People may say no and then I won’t know how to reply

  • I am not as experienced as others

  • I might appear ignorant

  • I don’t want people to get angry or frustrated with me

  • I don’t want to seem desperate

  • What if I don’t sound convincing?

  • What if people ignore me?

  • I don’t want people to judge me

  • What if I can’t answer a question?

  • What if I say something stupid?

  • What if I give inaccurate information?

  • What if someone challenges what I’m saying?

  • I don’t want to lose friends or colleagues

  • I don’t want people to avoid me because they think I want to “sell” to them

  • People may say “yes” and I’m not sure I can deliver

  • I’m uncomfortable asking for business or for referrals

  • I’m fearful that others will see me as a novice since I’ve only been in practice for ______ amount of time (fill in the blank)

  • I need to pay my bills and therefore I might take less than ideal clients to make ends meet

  • I don’t feel like an expert in my field

  • I might not follow up and will loose a potential client

  • I don’t know how to connect with the right people who could potentially support me

  • Other ____________________________________________________________


Take your top 3-5 fears/concerns; the ones that give you the biggest charge and write them down on the left side of your paper. Now imagine that you are talking to a trusted friend, partner, colleague or someone you greatly admire (can be alive or deceased) one who is wise, doesn’t judge you and is there to support you 100%. You are talking to them and they are just listening with an open heart and mind.


They believe in you.


Once you have this loving, wise, non-judgmental person in mind, write down on the right hand side of your paper the first response that your trusted friend gives you as you tell them about your concerns.


Now read your top fears again and read your trusted friend’s response. This wise friend will have said something supportive and encouraging to you. They would not have agreed with your limited or fearful perception of yourself. They might have said, “I see you- you have many gifts. You are wiser and more capable than you know.”


The purpose here is to start to desensitize you by confronting your fears lovingly. They may have served you in the past. Now you are ready to make peace with them. You may be ready to take more risks and show up bolder in your life. Many of your concerns are not true and they hold you back from accomplishing what you want in your life and in your business.


Some of your concerns may be partially true yet may also be things you did or thought in the past. Perhaps you remember a really awful networking experience or other situation where you felt unsuccessful. As you know more and experience more you naturally develop a greater ability to handle more. It is a learning process and you can improve with support and knowledge.


To Making Peace with Marketing,


P.S.  If you would like more support in applying these principles, give us a call.  In between our speaking and coaching engagements, we carve out a few individualized sessions each month. Schedule your appointment here.

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